THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT


Supersize Me One More Time

by by Emily Gogolak

Is 24 ounces simply not cutting it? No need to worry. Meet the Trenta.
Pulling a Business 101 oldie-but-goodie, Starbucks Corp. is giving Americans more of what they want. Standing tall at 31 ounces—the equivalent of two and a half cans of soda—this newest addition to the fleet of Italian euphemisms makes even a Venti look weak. Why deprive yourself with just a cup, when you could get nearly quart of Joe?
Starting this month, Trenta is taking a test run at 170 stores in Tampa and Phoenix, where soaring temperatures and demand for cold drinks go hand-in-hand. It’s a shrewd move for Starbucks, which is trying to contend with the lower-end competitors that masterminded the supersized-beverage machine. Watch out Dunkin’ and Mickey D’s.
Will the Trenta be hitting Thayer any time soon? We’ll have to wait and see, since Starbucks is declining to discuss its future test markets. Sit tight and cross your fingers that it gets here in time for reading period.
Caffeine junkies aside, not all are so hyped about the XXL. Others believe that Starbucks is populated with greedy capitalist-consumerists and are therefore totally unsurprised by the latest invention they’ve dug up from their moral black hole. Sensitive to claims that the Trenta will set America back in its epic battle against the bulge, a Starbucks spokesperson insisted, “Even a sweetened iced coffee or tea in a Trenta cup would be less than 200 calories.” If you were banking on using the additional seven ounces of frothy vanilla frap to fill the emptiness you feel inside, you’re out of luck: only plain old iced tea and coffee can get the extra boost.
So, okay, let’s say the Trenta won’t make us any fatter. But what about our nerves and our poor, bursting bladders? Not to mention the lack of super-sized cup holders.
31 ounces of love? Bigger isn’t always better.
—EG