THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT


Rush Limbaugh Tries to Export Painkiller Addiction to College Students

by by Dan Stump

This morning, the infamous talk show host offered to donate as much aspirin as it takes to rid the women of Georgetown of their horrible knee pain.

No wait, that's not right.  I just watched the video.  Apparently, he was just being a great misogynistic turd once again.

On Wednesday, the almighty asshat called Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke a "slut" and a "prostitute" for advocating that all employers cover health insurance for birth control.  Thursday, he doubled down, promising to provide Georgetown University females with "as much aspirin to put between their knees as they want," presumably with his hate filled jowls a-floppin' and a-sputterin'.  The aspirin-based contraceptive, invented by old perverts with no imagination for sex positions, has been proven ineffective; however, it recently gained media attention when Rick Satorum's equally repressed money-fountain, Foster Freiss, suggested the technique as an alternative to the pill.

Rush went on to insist that if these students need taxpayers to fund their sex lives, they should at least post videos of themselves online "so we can all watch."  I just threw up in my mouth.

Is Rush Limbaugh more of a scum-sucking toad or a greedy pig with beady little eyes? You decide.