These words may be out of print, but if vintage is cool then archaic is next-level. Drop one of these babies next time you’re at sup. Outshine your arch-blatherskite with a real humdinger. Impress that honey-slop you’ve been dinking out over. What, don’t you buy it? Save the contumely and ask Joyce. No one’s calling him a snivelard. Come on, we dare you.
bobby-dazzler [`bс bi `dæz lɛr], n. ca.1866
Something striking or excellent; a strikingly-dressed person.
“The kickball crew were bobby-dazzlers in smirks and striped cotton; sartorially, they were unbeatable.”
findible [`fɪn dɪ bəl], adj. ca. 1656
Able to be split or cleft.
“The pizza arrived, oozing and findible.”
graocracy [greɪ `с krə si], n. ca. 1830
Government by an old woman or old women.
“A graocracy controls Bravo’s programming.”
kexy [`kɛk si], adj. ca. 1641
Dry and brittle; withered; like a kex.
“James hated how kexy his hands felt after flying, so he made sure to pack a tin of shea butter.”
magpiety [mæg `pai ɛ di], n. ca. 1832
Talkativeness, garrulity (esp. on religious or moral topics); affected piety.
“The perfect candidate would combine Sarah’s charisma and Mitt’s magpiety.”
murklins [`mɛrk lɪnz], adv. ca. 1568
In the dark.
“When people make out it’s usually murklins.”
nuncheon [`nən(t) ʃ(ə)n], n. ca. 1260
A drink taken in the afternoon; a light refreshment between meals; a snack.
“Jack and Gilda always dawdled at nuncheon, giggling over their Arnold Palmers.”
shenk [ʃɛnk], v. ca. 1496
To pour out (liquor); to give (a person) drink.
“May I shenk you?”
Thurseve [`θərz iv], n. ca. 1325
The evening before Thursday; Wednesday night.
“I always get laid on Thurseve.”
quop [kwсp], v. ca. 1382
To tremble, wriggle, writhe; to throb, pulsate, palpitate.
“The thought of seeing Kendrick in the flesh made Astrid’s heart quop.”