THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT


WEEK IN REVIEW

by by Maggie Lange

illustration by by Emily Martin

PENNSYLVANIA "EMERGENCY" TARNISHES, AUGMENTS GOOD FRIDAY CELEBRATIONS
At 2 AM this past Friday, a Philadelphia cable broadcast of Good Friday ceremonies at the Vatican was interrupted by an ad for Girls Gone Wild. The 30-second clip was part of an Emergency Alert System test in which viewers are automatically tuned to a pre-selected channel that provides potentially life-saving information and instruction. In this case, screenshots of nearly-naked women against a perfect blue ocean (standard for Girls Gone Wild, at least volumes I through VIII) were of the utmost importance.

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For those watching Vatican services, a glimpse of the blasphemous Girls Gone Wild could easily be a sign of the apocalypse (the Great Emergency), although questions still remain as to whether or not the video can be deemed 'instructive.'
If not instructive, then entertaining, at least. Comcast spokesman Jeff Alexander reported that the glitch affected all of Philadelphia, but only one person called the company to complain. Seems it was a good Friday after all.
RBL


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POWER RANGERS LIGHTSPEED RESCUE
This is a big moral shake-up for Gen-Yers. A character from the good-versus-evil driven television show of our childhood, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, just received a death sentence in California. Skylar Deleon, 29, was charged and convicted of murdering an Arizona couple by latching them to an anchor to be tossed overboard their yacht. Deleon's failed acting career, which according to IMDB peeks with his appearance in Power Rangers, drove him to destructive behavior. After a bad stint in Hollywood, he joined the Marine Corps and received a dishonorable discharge.
In 2004, child-actor Skylar Deleon feigned interest in purchasing Tom and Jackie Hawks' boat. Tom, a former body-builder, and Jackie had placed For Sale signs in a California newspaper to sell their ship - ironically named Well Deserved. During a test cruise, the ship was not to his liking, apparently, and he committed mutiny. The Hawk's bodies were never recovered.
Skylar was honest about his guilt in the murders once the trails began, in hopes he could be sentenced to life without parole. The Orange County judge sentenced Skylar to death on April 10, 2009. In defense of Mighty Morphin Power Ranger's casting choices, Skylar only appeared in one episode - "Second Chance." So while he won't be receiving one this time, at least there is something left in the Power Ranger's moral compass.
MLL