THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT


Week in Review

by by Rebecca Lebowitz

illustration by by Drew Foster

This is bull
In Ireland this past Saturday, April 25, a bull got loose and terrorized a local supermarket. Entering in a huff, he ran through the automatic doors, sped up and down the aisles, upset a produce pyramid and left the premises without a single grocery. Alarmed shoppers fled from the store, though one man continued to pick out canned goods as the beast ran past.

An exemplary worker proved his heroism in all the tomfoolery. Donning a red smock and straw montera, he safeguarded boxes of storage from destruction. Wielding a shopping cart with the agility of a matador brandishing his cape, he chased the animal from the shop. Looks like he might be receiving Employee of the Month for April. —RBL

Four Winds Blowing
For some people, a photo of themselves holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa is a monument to both an excellent Eurotrip and their notable creativity; certain tourist photos simply can't be resisted. However, if family members have ever forced you to look at a photo of them standing in four states at once—at Four Corners, where Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico and Utah come together at right angles—you can now claim they are actually wasting your time. The National Geodetic Survey concluded this week that the Four Corners marker is about two and a half miles East of the intersection of the states. For the tens of thousands of tourists that stepped on the massive brass marker, this will come as a blow. No one else really minded.—MLL