THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT


October Horoscopes

by by Alexandra Corrigan

We're here for your monthly horoscopes! Do you want to know your moon sign, rising sign, or have other anxieties we can ask the cosmos??? Tweet @INDYOCCULT and the planets promise to answer.

Capricorn
Dec 22-Jan19
FAVORITE LADY GAGA SONG: Money Honey
Capricorns are the most successful of the signs, hardworking, honest and earnest. You'd make a good politician. However, we've never identified with you (we're a cusp!) since you're kind of...plain.
From July 2009 until this July, due to eclipses in Cancer and Capricorn, you've gone through a massive re-invention process. This month, you’ll start to settling on a career choice. As a Cap, your job is not just work but a huge part of your identity. Your time to shine is October 26th's new moon! The night of the drag-party, October 27th, Capricorn's Pluto will link to Taurus's Jupiter, so look out for the Bull in a dress.

Aquarius
Jan 20-Feb 18
GAGA: Born This Way
It’s the age of Aquarius. Creative, weird and generally spacey, Aquariums are always the artists of the group. Attractively airy, don’t try to pin them down: they're got commitment issues.
You're creative energies were really sapped out this august -- and drinking all your parents liquor cabinet to ease your way into September was not the answer. You're love of fall -- new gel pens, tweed jackets -- will reinvigorate you once again. You'll really hit your stride hot-gluing your halloween costume, but don't commit to a joint costume too early: an enemy lurks.

Pisces:
Feb 19-Mar 20
GAGA: Speechless
Pisces get along with everyone -- and I mean, everyone -- except for Aries. They're fluid, so they're the most accommodating friend you've got, but watch out for their clinginess.
Pisces -- try to find more rock and roll in your life. You're all wishy-washy these days, taking yourself to bed early and doing laundry regularly. It's time for some action. We're thinking of telling you to bleach your hair, loose your inhibitions and start sneering regularly (maybe at the sarcastic Cafe Choklaud owner). You'll realize the formidable AA logic--fake it til you make it--until you might have to join AA.

Aries
Mar 21-Apr 19
Favorite Lady Gaga song: So Happy I Could Die
Confident but stubborn for the sake of being stubborn, Aries always get what they want.
Mars passes through your sensitivity for adventure and speculation. So, despite rampant speculation and advice from others, its time to take your own bull by the horns and do whats right for you. We see you hitching a ride down to the Wall Street protests (but don’t mention your interview at Barclays).

Taurus
Apr 20-May 20
GAGA: Judas
When arguing with Tauruses, one must know how invested the Bull is in the discussion. Their core beliefs never change, but they're willing to think and accommodate others for things that don't matter to them.
You homebodies are always sticking to the plan. While we clairvoyant types have very little to do with you, we'll begrudgingly admit that your responsibility and hard-working ethics impress us. This month, you'll be tempted by an indulgence. Be moderate, but don’t constrain yourself. Froyo won’t kill you.

Gemini
May 21-Jun 20
GAGA: LoveGame
Witty and talkitive, Geminis are the social butterflies of the zodiac. They're fun and good natured, but don't take their word at face value.
Gemini, sorry, but you've got a lot of work to do this October. What you've got to focus on is molding your work or career out of something you love anyway. Think of it as if taking a language class: if your'e seriously complaining about it, you're an idiot. It’s fun. And receives the same number of credits as Orgo.

Cancer
Jun 21-Jul 22
GAGA: Bad Romance
Being around a Cancer can be like walking on eggshells. When not moody and sensitive, they're the sweetest, most transparent depressive you know.
Planets are gathering in key areas of your chart, and forcing your energies in all different directions. September was not totally ideal, and your biggest concern with be something with your home-life. Interestingly, Saturn (which rules our concept of time), has been lingering near Venus (which rules the home sector) for exactly two years now. Saturn indicates duty over pleasure, and lasts another year. Sorry.

Leo
July 23-Aug 22
GAGA: Fame
This planet-reader doubts Leo’s stereotype - we’ve never met two alike. That said, Leos are known to be extroverted, gregarious and indulgent.
Your moon from the end of September and this month will be difficult and weird. You're ruled by the Sun, which will come into play with Saturn (icy, cold), in a bad way this mid-September. Play sick October 13th. Skip the Japanese Ambassador's talk and just order Sakura delivery. Chill, invest in academia, and realize that without his ironic mustache, that boy is not with your time.

Virgo
Aug 23-Sep 22
GAGA: Scheisse
Virgos are like everyone's hyper-rational ex-boyfriend: overly intellectual, they're fabulous at writing a paper, analyzing the pros/cons of the movie, and exhausting your patience for criticism.

All of your assumptions about money are going out the window. Consistently low-paid and appreciated, your job has just evaporated into an unpaid internship in secretarial work. You gotta work it out, step it up, and apply out. A new moon comes into Scorpio on October 26th, which makes all your favorite planets happy: Mercury (your ruler), Venus (love!), Sun and moon.

Libra
Sep 23-Oct 22
GAGA: Fame
Libras are really "balanced", which we think means boring. Nice though, they're always your roommate's chill boyfriend who you'll happily third-wheel to drinks.
Libras are so anxious these days! @astrologyzone fielded the most questions last month from Libras. This friendly sign can expect a suprise windfall and an autumn sweetheart. So have no fear! As my friends's dad says, all the faith in humanity you need you can find in one person. Chant your self-affirmations in the AM(I am beautiful and brilliant, world!!!), and chat up the cute, naive activist at OccupyPVD.

Scorpio
Oct 23-Nov 21
GAGA: Paparazzi
Scorpios are intense, guarded and deeply faithful. If you're friends with one, its for life -- whether you like it or not. Also, they're really sexual -- ahem -- "passionate".
Scorpio! You're missing the value of what you have and pining over what is. Yes, your new boytoy is at home posting ridiculous pictures on facebook instead of seeing you. But can't you just appreciate a good make-out in Ruth Simmons' yard at 2 am?

Sagittarius
Nov 22-Dec 21
GAGA: Just Dance
Sag, you defrost our cold, bitter heart. Philosophical, intelligent and athletic, we've never met a Sagittarius that we don't like. Your fault? You tend to underestimate your effect and leave people wanting more! A lovely problem to have.
Sagitarius, welcome to a high contrast month. You're a mutable sign, though, so you'll adapt. Lots of changes will find you --- especially from Geminis and other Sagitarrians. The last time you've had to deal with this many eclipses was in 2002-2003, so think back, look forward and try not to start any interminable wars. Also, don't be afraid to let people in -- you tend to get heady and solitary when it comes to troubles. We'll make you some whiskey-tea and listen to you rant, promise.