THE COLLEGE HILL INDEPENDENT


Redux Dictionary

by by Ellora Vilkin

illustration by by Katy Windemuth

 

These words may be out of print, but if vintage is cool then archaic is next-level. Drop one of these babies next time you’re at sup. Outshine your arch-blatherskite with a real humdinger. Impress that honey-slop you’ve been dinking out over. What, don’t you buy it? Save the contumely and ask Joyce. No one’s calling him a snivelard. Come on, we dare you.

 

bobby-dazzler [`bс bi `dæz lɛr], n. ca.1866

Something striking or excellent; a strikingly-dressed person.

“The kickball crew were bobby-dazzlers in smirks and striped cotton; sartorially, they were unbeatable.”

 

findible [`fɪn dɪ bəl], adj. ca. 1656

Able to be split or cleft.

“The pizza arrived, oozing and findible.”

 

graocracy [greɪ `с krə si], n. ca. 1830

Government by an old woman or old women.

“A graocracy controls Bravo’s programming.”

 

kexy [`kɛk si], adj. ca. 1641

Dry and brittle; withered; like a kex.

“James hated how kexy his hands felt after flying, so he made sure to pack a tin of shea butter.”

 

magpiety [mæg `pai ɛ di], n. ca. 1832

Talkativeness, garrulity (esp. on religious or moral topics); affected piety.

“The perfect candidate would combine Sarah’s charisma and Mitt’s magpiety.”

 

murklins [`mɛrk lɪnz], adv. ca. 1568

In the dark.

“When people make out it’s usually murklins.”

 

nuncheon [`nən(t) ʃ(ə)n], n. ca. 1260

A drink taken in the afternoon; a light refreshment between meals; a snack.

“Jack and Gilda always dawdled at nuncheon, giggling over their Arnold Palmers.”

 

shenk [ʃɛnk], v. ca. 1496

To pour out (liquor); to give (a person) drink.

“May I shenk you?”

 

Thurseve [`θərz iv], n. ca. 1325

The evening before Thursday; Wednesday night.

“I always get laid on Thurseve.”

 

quop [kwсp], v. ca. 1382

To tremble, wriggle, writhe; to throb, pulsate, palpitate.

“The thought of seeing Kendrick in the flesh made Astrid’s heart quop.”